How to decide whether to keep relation with someone or not? Is it mandatory and required to maintain relationship with someone who is different than you? How can one “Interact” better with someone who is different than you?
Acceptance – Yes, we accept that we should accept that we are different. So yes, we accept that you are different, and we are different. Yes, we accept that you have full right to follow any method that you wish to. Yes, we accept that in YOUR House you can do whatever you wish to, and you are entitled to.
So when people from two totally different background or people following two different ways of living, people having two totally different thought process, for some reason need to PARTICIPATE together in an event, it is better that we do NOT use big-words like RELATION, TRUST, TRUTH, WE ARE ONE etc.
A more workable approach would be NOT TO ASS-U-ME anything and make a fool of both the parties involved. Yes, Let’s keep it limited. Limited to what is minimum required.
And Yes, since it is limited, there is absolutely ZERO question of “Giving GYAN or unwanted advice” to the other person.
Yes it is definately required to always always remember that THERE IS NO and NEVER a PERMANANT RELATION. It is only at level of “one-interaction-at-a-time”
In Future, for some reason if we need to interact, for every INTERACTION that we will do with the other, at least for ME, I should do it with full CONSCIOUSNESS and ZERO ASSUMPTION and EXPECTATION. I should make my stand clear without keeping any ambiguity.
If one needs help, ASK the OTHER. If the other party can help, well and
good. If NOT, simply accept it and move on.
No need of any additional GIFTS nor surprises nor any EXTRA show of
Treat each other with respect in tone and NO “aasach maajak karat hoto” etc. Because remember we know the process, value-system are different. So why to unnecessarily add one more level of complexity.
Yes “I accept the way you are” and I should NOT insult you nor should I give you unasked advice, nor should i Judge you on my parameters.
and at same time, I then have EQUAL right to “Protect my mental and emotional health if that is getting disturbed again and again”. I am not even asking you to “Accept the way I am”. All I am doing is “protecting my peace”
I am simply exercising my RIGHT to “keep limited interaction”. I am simply exercising my RIGHT to “Give more focus to areas which are helping me improve my own mental and physical health and spend my time with people where I feel comfortable and happy”
ALSO, I will take precaution about NOT SHARING HOW COMFORTABLE I AM WITH YOU OR NOT TO THIRD PERSON. I am NOT ENTITLED NOR RESPONSIBLE TO Answer to anyone other than myself. And you are NOT responsible to answer to anyone other than yourself.
After EVERY INTERACTION we should evaluate the interaction.
If that interaction has led to MUTUAL HAPPINESS, MUTUAL GROWTH, MUTUAL BENEFIT then we plan the subsequent interaction.
WE DO NOT follow nor endorse the process of “frequent misunderstandings, Its STUPID and emotionally draining when one gets hurt and then simply saying, forget-it and move one and then again for some reason misunderstanding, spend lot of energy in resolving issues, misunderstandings and then again creating a similar situation for both of us”.
If the process is creating pain again and again it is better to look within
and strengthen within, rather than explaining again and again.
Only if both the parties feel comfortable and confident that “AT this
moment” they are ready for another interaction and the interaction can
remain peaceful for both the parties, then we can take it forward from there, else IT IS OK to DISAGREE and MOVE-ON.
It’s OK. Everyone has a choice to decide whether to be together or not. Everyone has a right to choose what should be end objective for them.